We have all heard that “change is inevitable” - usually this is stated either as a lecture towards those who are averse to change, or as a message of hope to those waiting for change. But change is essential for living things. Only dead things don't change (actually they change too, but at a much slower pace). This blog has essentially been dead for over 5 years, and while I doubt anyone cares, (I would be the most likely person to care, and even I didn't for a long time) like so many times before, I am going to attempt to jolt some life back into it.

My motivation for reviving this blog now is, admittedly, a bit weak. I was doing some server admin and realized there was some old content here that I think has outlived its relevance, but to only remove that content would leave this site even more barren than it already is. As fate would have it, I watched a vlogbrothers video today by John Green where he encouraged the viewer to write their memoirs. Even though I don't have any reason to think anyone would be interested in my memoirs, my poor memory (probably due in part to my recently-discovered ADHD) means that if nothing else, someday I will be interested in reading my own. And while a private journal would arguably suffice for that, the idea of having the excuse to post here and justify this site's existence seems too good to pass up. If it makes it seem less self-serving pretend it's the equivalent of long posts on social media - which I almost never use outside of doomscrolling.

To ensure that this post isn't another one-off with a multi-year interlude when my ADHD brain inevitably loses interest, and I don't actually follow through, I'm challenging myself to write one post a week through the end of 2022. Not all the posts will be about the present, some will be about landmarks in my own life. They may range from philosophical musings to rants about whatever thing I'm struggling with at the time. Here's to new beginnings, and to documenting the inevitable changes of life.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but why is it every time a “young” couple is being affectionate in public, there is inevitably a cynic, standing at a distance, making remarks to the tune that the couple’s relationship won’t be like that forever and that reality will eventually set in?

Yes, the cynic is right, but does everything that gives us pleasure last? No. In fact, very few things we take pleasure in during our lifetimes last. Food is a requirement for life, but flavor is not, yet we spend a great percentage of our time and money making our meals delicious and flavorful. The pleasure of eating a tasty meal won’t last, but that doesn’t stop our pursuit of culinary quality. Nobody uses the fleeting pleasure of eating a delicious meal to argue for bland food. Why then does the cynic always have to point out that romantic infatuation won’t last? Perhaps it’s because they are jaded by their own experiences, or maybe they simply think it’s gross.

I choose to see the beauty of the moment – that two people are so lost in each other’s company that the entire world around them has faded away. Will it last? We all know it won’t, reality will eventually set in. But in those moments, the starry-eyed lovers don’t need reality.

So, the next time you see a couple partaking in public displays of affection, and staring into each other’s eyes; try to resist the urge to think or say, “Eww, get a room” or “Reality’s going to set in, and it won’t always be that way.” Instead, look for the beauty. Remember that for an instant, those two people are so interested in each other that whether they are hopeless romantics or self-proclaimed realists, neither is able to see the harsh realities of life, because in that moment, they are both happy – and if you ask me, that is beautiful.

You might even find yourself becoming less of a cynic.

This year I have had some difficulty getting in the spirit of the Christmas season. Maybe it’s because I’ve listened to Christmas music throughout the year, or maybe it’s because we hadn’t gotten any snow yet before a week ago, or perhaps it’s that I’m missing the extra joy of being in love at this time of year. But, the turn of events over the past week has scooped me up and dumped me in a snowbank of Christmas spirit.

To preface my story, I should say that I own a motorcycle which is my only form of transportation to and from work, aside from bumming rides and walking. And as of Monday this week we hadn’t had any snow accumulation, so I was still riding my motorcycle to work. Monday afternoon it started sleeting and then the snow hit. I left work early to take my motorcycle to park it for the winter. By this time there was several inches of slushy snow on the ground and the roads had yet to be cleared. It was only several blocks from work to the storage building where I was going to park my bike and as I set out I could tell that it was too slick to be riding a motorcycle, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do, and I was convinced that I had to ride over there. The majority of my trip was down a highway that slows way down as it cuts through the center of my little town. As I slowly made my way down the highway I neared my last turn into the storage units. I slowed for the corner, and began to turn, a split second later I looked up and saw my motorcycle sliding down the snowy highway in front of me. You would expect that at that point I would have been thinking a scream of fear, terror, and pain; or at least an “oh no, what just happened?”. But no, I had the silliest thought. As I slid down the highway on my belly and scrambled to my feet I was thinking “it’s Christmastime”. And the entire spirit of the season came to me, the giving of gifts to those we love, the reason we celebrate the coming of the Messiah, and that magical feeling of snow falling and sledding.

As I stood my motorcycle up and managed to ride it into the storage building lot I was thinking “I hope SOMEBODY saw that”. I have this sick desire to entertain people, and find that I would rather have people watch me and laugh as I do something stupid than have my stupidity go unnoticed. Turns out several people saw it, and I have gotten to laugh about it with people who I didn’t even know could laugh.

Of course, I managed to beat myself up a bit, and later that evening I was sore, and a little depressed that my only mode of transportation would probably have some needed repairs after its little slide. Before long I had talked myself into believing that I was just stupid, worthless, and dumb. I thought that I should have been able to prevent the accident, before long I was blaming myself for everything in my life that has gone the slightest bit wrong in the last year. Then I had the most wonderful Christmastime thought in the world: even though I see myself as worthless, God doesn’t see me that way. He says, “you’re my son, I love you”. He loves me so much that more than two thousand years ago, he came to earth as the most helpless of people, a baby. And the reason He came was to die; God, the creator of the universe, dying, in my place, because He loves me.

Now, every time I feel pain from my 2 second trip down the highway on my belly I am reminded that it’s Christmastime. I’m reminded of all the times I tipped over in a sled as a child and ended up with a face full of snow, but more importantly I am reminded of the love that my Father in heaven has for me. That is the spirit of Christmas, Christmas isn’t just about the baby in the manger, it isn’t just about the cross, it isn’t just about the resurrection. It’s about love, because God so loved us, that he sent His only Son that whoever believes in Him will have eternal life. We are celebrating the birth of love.